punya e-book reader (kindle) udah lebih dari sepuluh tahun, tapi tetep aja gabisa full blown digital. Masalahnya ga semua buku digital dijual resmi ke Indonesia tanah air beta ini, apalagi komik. Jadi tetep aja akhirnya akan ada buku dan komik yg cuman bisa dibeli versi cetak.

Maka dengan ini menyatakan bahwa berserakanlah buku-buku ini di rumah. Pasti ada buku di setiap sudut, di atas setiap permukaan datar, kecuali kamar mandi.

pengen beli rak buku, tapi di level ini, udah butuh ruang khusus buat nyimpen buku a.k.a perpus personal.

hey, a woman is allowed to have a dream.

life testing me once again, not to me directly, but through the most beloved person of mine. I really am willing to switch my place with him so I’ll be the one who suffer instead of him. for him, I would. In the recent chain of unfortunate events, Life showed me who really on my side, and who’s the fakest group of people who claimed to be on my side. God, they’re ruthless, like a leech, they really attempted to suck money, time, and I believe they want to suck the life out of me, if possible.

for a few months I cried, stepped away from any social media because I didn’t wish to see anything related to that group of people. What did I do wrong to them so much that they really showed me no empathy, nor compassion, just pure rudeness. they’re worst than strangers.

That moment, I knew, it’s only me and my most beloved one, Us alone.

for all this time I was always kind to them, and this is how they reciprocate for what I did? noted. I will not trust them ever again.

remember my last post about no positive side of being a kind, honest person? I still think that’s true, I’ve been stabbed left and right by cruel, heartless, unskillful people. but now I finally cut them off, and be able to write here, well at least it means my mind is no longer scattered.

and by the way, despite what I said about being a kind person, I think I still gonna try to be one, I’m not doing it for other people, I’m doing it for me, out of spite, just to proof even after what I’ve been through, I still be able to be a decent human being.

watch me.

things seem to be so bleak. sometimes there are dark thoughts clouding me and got me thinking that evil people are always winning, there’s no positive side of being a kind and honest person in this world.  honest, kind, and skillful people are somehow being used by greedy evil people with no skill. is that how the world works? with deceit?

I think ーlike seriouslyー I need to take a step back from all of my social media. It’s so exhausting. Most of them filled with rage bait and a lot of people ーif not botー seem easily baited. The older I get, the less the willinges there is to take a part in social media, I mostly looked at my timeline or lurked, I rarely post, and when I do, I try to make it to be as general as it can be, no detail, just big pictures.

But certainly that wasn’t enough. Looking at social media somehow showed people true colour、I guess? I could see how reactive they can be, their opinion, or when they posted something that’s tottaly untrue about themselves. It somehow disturbed me to some degree where I feel like somehow at lost by people’s train of thought.

It’s no longer entertaining, it’s draining. It’s not about connecting, it’s not about sharing ideas no more, or at least I currently believe so.

It’s probably time to go back to books, and consume social media as little as possible.

ok, it’s almost two weeks since I bought several physical books that were translated to Bahasa Indonesia.

to be really honest, the feeling of having physical books in my bookshelf was a nice one, but reading in one though, kinda a different story. for comic books or manga, especially in series, when I have all of them series and I want to read it in one go, I had to gather them in one place so I can continuously read it without being interrupted by searching for the next book, and for having a pile of book in my bed? that was certainly not a really comfortable thing. same with the Novel one, it was so thick and it was a kinda nuisance to read in the first 100 pages, because the imbalance of the book weight that was so stark that it was kinda annoying, and the annoyance reduce after more or less 100 pages.

so yeah, think I’m gonna stick to e-book.

iya, gue memaksimalkan kalau baca buku sebisa mungkin lewat kindle aja, atau minimalnya tipe ebook, walaupun lewat tablet/phone. namun terkadang ada aja buku-buku menarik yang engga ada di kindle (region di mana kita berada) atau misal ternyata versi digitalanya (ehem) lebih mahal, jadilah memutuskan untuk jajan buku fisik dengan semangat mendukung toko buku, penerbit, dan penerjemah Indonesia.

uyeh.

engga seribet itu sih jalan pikiran diri ini. cuman kangen gramed, terus ya kita ke gramed, ada yg menarik, jadilah jajan. simple.

engga juga sih, pas di gramed tadi sempet browsing dulu kalau buku yg mau dibeli apakah lebih baik beli fisik atau digital! hahahahahah, oiya buku yg gue beli ngasih pembatas buku, yang adalah sangat berguna. mengingat gue udah lama sekali engga baca buku fisik, yg artinya pembatas buku gue entah lagi nyelip di buku apa. jadi, kepada penerbit yang membuat pembatas buku menjadi bagian dalam buku, gue ucapkan terima kasih, terima kasih banget.

hari in jajan satu novel terjemahan, dan tiga komik jepang. belum dibaca satupun, karna begitu nyampe rumah, langsung main komputer dan memutuskan untuk mengabadikan kegiatan hari ini dengan menulis di blog kesayangan (karena karena pengen rajin nge-blog aja)

agak nerveous nih, masih bisa baca buku fisik engga yah, karna kebiasaan enak baca d kindle: engga takut kebasahan, engga makan space, dan bisa baca kapanpun bahkan tengah malem. menarik. ntarlah cirin review perasaan baca buku fisik setelah sekian tahun selalu baca di ebook reader.

engga penting abis. haha

I am a fan of Yagami Chitose’s manga(s), therefore I kinda know what to expect, but I am a new reader for Higashino Keigo’s book, but I did a quick research about this particular book from the internet, and I found out that the reviews are overewhelmingly positive (like…. 5 stars!), so…. I’m thrilled.

ayow cirin’s reader apakabar semua? meski berdasarkan wordpress statistik mah ga ada yg baca sih. hahahahhaa

mau lanjut update tentang cirin belajar. iya. hal yang paling susah adalah buat konsisten, soalnya pas belajarnya sih lancar-lancar aja ya, untuk ngelawan bosennya itu yg uyow so hard beib. jadi, gimana? selese aja nih belajanya? ooo, tentu tidak, My mom didn’t raise me just for me being a quitter, duh. Karna gamau berhenti dan males bikin jadwal belajar, jadi apa yg saya lakukan? nyontek! iya, nyontek. jadi ngikutin jadwal belajarnya suami, karna dia hobi banget belajar.

jadi kalau dia belajar, aku ikutan belajar, kalau dia istirahat, ikutan istirahat juga. semacam mimicking apa yg dia lakukan, sih. karna dia pinternya ga kira-kira, jadi gapapa dong aku contek setidaknya pola dia belajar. hehe heh. curang? anything for the love of progress and learning new things. so far metode ini lumayan oke, loh.

studying is sooo rewarding, so im lovin every second of it! let’s hope this progress will gradually increasing exponentilally (or linear, actually i don’t really care long as there’s progress to my process)

ayow, I’ve finished the online course I enrolled a month ago! yeay! it’s actually just google data analytics certification, I know it’s not a big deal (as it is really basic anyway) but I can say that I’m happy with it, I mean, look, I didn’t quit and use the “I’m bored” card excuse. Anyhow, finishing this course giving me courage to go back to code, so my other milestone during this quarantine is to sharpen up my coding skill. yeah, I’m gonna use python since it’s a kinda languange that have a place in my heart. haha

and I just love the visual studio code, i know, python lovers probably gonna say “Just use pycharm”, well, probably later if I start to see the need to do so, for now, I’m still happy with VS code, and oh I’ve been using github to record my progress, it’s kinda nice by the way, to have a github page and actually fill it with my code even though it’s just for learning phase.

ah, in the GDA course, i learned how to use R, it’s interesting, though I still haven’t memorize all the syntax and kinda still confused and mixed it up with python and get a lot of error code. ha!

so, me? back to coding? it’s a little bit bizzare for me to do this since if we backtrack to my career, I’ve never have “Coding” in my Job description, on contrary, I love doing it, I just…. suck at it? so O have no confidence to apply as an Engineer. but now I have literally plenty of time to learn, so I choose to go back to code.

hopefully I won’t do it halfway (fingers crossed)

belakangan makin ga tenang (elah)

on a serious note, keadaan pandemi di sini udah di tahap mengerikan, sih. angkanya makin meningkat, masyarakatnya pada gapeduli juga, keliatannya. vaksin ya yg dapet aja. ingin hati dapet pfizer, apa daya dapetnya… ya gitu lah. lebih sebel sama orang-orang yg masih termakan sama teori konspirasi, alih-alih mencari kebenaran, orang-orang ini nampaknya cuman mau denger apa yg mereka mau denger. maunya pandemi selesai aja dengan sendirinya tanpa usaha apa-apa.

apalah gue bisanya misuh-misuh aja. mau ikut educate? me? yeah, no. gue punya stok kesabaran ga sebanyak itu, lah. gue pun sekarang gasuka nulis opini, bahkan di twitter. ga berani aja, gitu. takut kesannya ngajak orang berantem, padahal ga ada follower juga. kocak.

sedih gitu sekarang mesjid deket tempat gue tinggal makin sering mengumumkan orang meninggal, sedih sekarang kalau liat postingan temen di instagram, isinya minta doa cepet sembuh, bahkan ada yg cari donor plasma darah buat orang yg disayang yg mengidap covid19, sedih dapet kabar bahwa dua ponakan gue pun positif covid19.

despite all of that.… masih aja ada orang yang bilang “covid19 itu ga ada”

actually, my progress in learning quite ok, honestly i surprised that i can come through the “boring” phase and keep going at least untill today. i usually bored when it comes to things that tidious and not makes money (ha!), well, i can feel bored even if it makes me money, but i will drag my a** off to finish the job, cause, you know? responsibility.

i honestly quite enjoy the process and love seeing the progress i’ve been making (for the last few days. lol). well, i finished a few assignments faster than timeframe given by a lot. technically the subjects still easy for me, who knows when it gets harder, how fast will i finish the problem? it doesn’t matter, what’s matter is i’ll finish this for sure.

in this point i think i a super lazy person if im not learning anything, since i have everything that i need: time, source, the kind superb expert sir that will answer every questions given by me with almost unlimited amount of patience, and the tools. i know, right? im in the literal heaven for learning things (for tech, finance, and math related)

so what’s next? do i want to go back to work?

i don’t know, i just don’t want my skill to get rusty, i dont want to see myself grow stupid over time, i dont want to be confuse everytime i have conversation with friends in which they are working in the tech industry. i have to keep updated with the latest technology, and continuesly gain skills, doesn’t matter if i will use it to make money or not. i just want to see myself not as a stupid person, but as a person whom at least has something to proud of.

i always hard on myself. sometimes i feel insecure over a petty reason, everyone have this phase, i think.